In this section, we will explore some common coping mechanisms and behaviors observed in adult children of alcoholics. Another crucial aspect of breaking the cycle is developing healthy coping mechanisms. Adult children of alcoholics often adopt coping mechanisms that were learned during childhood to deal with the unpredictable and chaotic environment.
Below, you’ll find seven potential ways a parent’s AUD can affect you as an adult, along with some guidance on seeking support. Children from these backgrounds often deny the impact of family dysfunction and may internalize destructive attitudes and behaviors. Wherever you are on your journey, Birch Tree Recovery can work alongside you to create a healthier life, establish self-connection, and instill effective coping mechanisms.
The challenge then becomes learning how to face conflict constructively, rather than evading it. You can talk with a healthcare professional if you’re unsure where to start. They may be able to recommend the next steps, including referring you to a mental health professional if necessary.
The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoAs) are individuals who grew up in families where at least one parent had an alcohol addiction. This upbringing can have a profound impact on their lives, shaping their behavior, emotions, and relationships. In order to comprehend the challenges faced by ACoAs, it is important to delve into the definition and background of this group and understand the impact of growing up with alcoholism. Studies show that having a parent addicted to alcohol causes lower self-esteem9 in many cases. One reason for this is that many children of alcoholics believe they’re to blame for their parent’s addiction.
When a woman drinks alcohol while pregnant, her baby has a chance of developing fetal alcohol syndrome disorders (FASDs). This group of serious health conditions can occur when a fetus is exposed to alcohol. If your parent with AUD is willing to attend therapy with you, family therapy can often help rebuild trust and pave the way toward healing. These feelings can affect your personal sense of self-esteem and self-worth. All of these behaviors can make it more difficult to form healthy, satisfying relationships. What’s more, children who had to act as parents to their own parents may go on to believe it’s their responsibility to take care of others, which can lead to codependent relationships.
Seeking Therapy and Support
On the flip side, some children growing up with addicted parents fully reject any responsibility.8 They become dependent on others for functioning. This is because they never had someone show them how to healthily identify, label, and communicate their needs. And because they rely on others for adult children of alcoholics almost anything, it’s common for these children to grow up feeling like they can’t do anything right. They lose all confidence in their abilities because they never have to practice them.
Difficulty in Trusting Others
Growing up in an alcoholic home can lead to a myriad of emotional, psychological, and social challenges. These effects are often long-lasting, shaping the personality traits and behavioral patterns of those who experience such tumultuous childhoods. There are several different signs and symptoms of PTSD and trauma exhibited by adult children of alcoholics. Similar to PTSD, any one symptom can be problematic and can have a negative impact on the quality of life for the individual.
For many ACoAs, these scars translate into feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Children who grow up with at least one parent with alcohol use disorder can have an increased chance of experiencing negative health and behavioral outcomes. A trained mental health professional can offer more support with identifying unhelpful habits and coping mechanisms and exploring alternatives that better serve you. In the absence of a stable, emotionally supportive enviornment, you learned to adapt in the only ways you knew how. As an adult, though, you can learn to manage and change specific behaviors that no longer help you, which can improve your overall well-being, quality of life, and relationships with others. “In this process, you’ll process unresolved traumatic experiences and develop tools to formulate healthy relationships and communicate your needs,” she explains.
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- We also know that many adults whose parents were addicted to alcohol are more likely to develop a substance use disorder themselves.
- Growing up in this kind of dysfunctional home causes damage that often carries over into adulthood.
- An anabranch is a portion of a river or stream that diverts—that is, branches off from—the main channel but then rejoins it again downstream.
- This improves accessibility regardless of what forms of technology you have available.
- Instead of being cared for, they must become the caretakers of the addicted adult/s.
For many ACoAs, this erratic environment can breed a sense of impulsivity. Various studies and research over the years have sought to better understand the nuances and implications of growing up in an alcoholic environment. Individual therapy is a great place to start, says Michelle Dubey, LCSW, chief clinical officer for Landmark Recovery. The type of therapy you pursue may depend on the issues you’re most concerned about. Your therapist can help you determine a therapy approach that best fits your unique needs and concerns. Growing up with a parent who has AUD can create an environment of unpredictability, fear, confusion, and distress, says Peifer.
ACA Meetings, Support Groups, & Relationships
It may seem like nobody understands what you’ve been through, but you’re not alone. In the U.S., there are over 76 million adult children of alcoholics,3 many of whom have shared experiences. The path to healing for adult children of alcoholics can be complex due to the multifaceted nature of the trauma they’ve experienced. The endeavor to classify adult children of alcoholics represents a recognition of their diverse experiences and coping mechanisms in the face of similar adversities.
Published “The Laundry List,” which describes common characteristics shared by most adult children with a parent with alcohol use disorder. With therapy and support, ACOAs can make changes in their life and treat the underlying PTSD and trauma. Talk therapy one-on-one or group counseling, somatic experiencing, and EMDR are highly effective in addressing the signs of trauma and developing new, healthy coping mechanisms. A parent’s alcohol use disorder (AUD) can have a major impact on your mental and emotional well-being — not just in your childhood, but also well into your adulthood. Support groups like ACA and Al-Anon provide essential platforms for sharing experiences and learning healthier life practices. These meetings, available to everyone and focusing on spiritual guidance, offer a path toward recovery and personal growth.
Trauma Symptoms of Adult Children of Alcoholics
- And childhood trauma tends to stay with us in many forms, sometimes without us realizing it.
- This involves prioritizing one’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
- It can cause children of alcoholic parents to alternate between idealizing and rejecting the same person, creating an internal struggle of wanting closeness while avoiding pain.
- They lose all confidence in their abilities because they never have to practice them.
Consequently, you might become more sensitive to criticism and rejection and have a harder time standing up for yourself. For example, if you couldn’t depend on your parent to feed you breakfast or take you to school in the morning, you may have become self-reliant early on. As a result, Peifer says you could have difficulty accepting love, nurturing, and care from partners, friends, or others later in life. Yet while your parent didn’t choose to have AUD, their alcohol use can still affect you, particularly if they never get support or treatment.
A 2012 study that considered 359 adult children of parents with AUD found that they tended to fall within five distinct personality subtypes. One of these types, termed Awkward/Inhibited by researchers, was characterized by feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. These characteristics are also prevalent in other dysfunctional family environments, like those with drug abuse or chronic illnesses. Acknowledging these issues is crucial for healing, yet children from such backgrounds frequently internalize negative behaviors and attitudes. By developing healthy coping mechanisms, individuals can learn alternative ways to manage stress, regulate emotions, and navigate challenges. This may involve seeking out healthy outlets for self-expression, such as art, writing, or physical exercise.
Learning healthy conflict resolution alongside loved ones can help your relationship function more positively. This obsession with external success combined with self-blame for your parent’s addiction quickly turns into perfectionism for many ACoAs. Your focus becomes avoiding any reason for people to criticize or blame you.